Men make such hopeless priests

http://alcuinbramerton.blogspot.com/2005/06/men-make-such-hopeless-priests.html

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Feminist theology is about more

Than the use of vibrators

In liturgical dance.



Feminist theology is about

The sexist silliness of saying

That God is a cosmic senior citizen

With hair on his chin

But not on his pussy.



Feminist theology's goals

Are to interrogate

The social construction

Of black womanhood

In relation to the African American experience

And ask if "womanist theology"

Might be a more gender-neutral term

Than "feminist theology" -

And more ladylike?



And feminist theology is about

The employment discrimination

Involved in asserting

That 3.5 billion clitorises

Disqualify the human beings

Attached to them

From being priests of Christ

And from the fringe benefits

Which being priests of Christ brings

In terms of pretty dresses

And pensions.



Apparently,

If you are the proud possessor

Of a penis,

You can pray better.



Feminist theology

Questions this dogma.



And feminist theology

Questions other things,

Such as why is it the case

In many churches

That there is so little

Handbag space

Provided on the High Altar?

And why is it is the case

That most medieval

Easter sepulchres

Are not fitted with bidets?



These are live issues

For the female faithful

And they cannot be swept under

The kitchen sink.



It is not easy

To deliver a sermon in church

While you are doing the ironing.



It is true that you could

Get a man in

To do the ironing.



But that would mean

That the man would miss the sermon,

Or do the ironing

Down at the pub.



Or, more likely,

Mow the lawn instead

While laughing loudly

At football jokes

And peeing on the lavatory seat.



Men make such hopeless priests.





....................





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