Interview for a new USA president

Page update: 25.04.08

Because of widespread electoral corruption
In the United States of America,
We have decided to address
The democratic deficit
And appoint the next president ourselves.

The selection process
Will be rigorous,
But fair.

Only white males
With non-Jewish names
And proven business connections
With the Bin Laden family
Will be considered.

There is a person specification
And there is a job specification.

The person specification is as follows:
The successful candidate
Will appear politely stupid,
But under the surface
Of this undemanding
Theatrical carapace
He will be deeply evil
In a down-home
American sort of way.

The successful candidate
Will be a spiritually illiterate fundamentalist,
But not just a religious fundamentalist –
He will also be
An educational fundamentalist,
An economic fundamentalist,
An environmental fundamentalist,
A cultural fundamentalist,
A political fundamentalist,
And a moral fundamentalist.

The successful candidate
Will be an American supremacist
With a sovereign disregard
For the good of the wider world.

He should also be capable
Of playing a tolerable
Round of golf
With corrupt buddies
During office hours.

The job specification is as follows:
To lead America
Into splendid isolation
And, once there,
To bomb
The rest of the planet
To pulp.

We invite applications
From persons of good standing
Within the Christian community.




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