Headhunted

They couldn't get the quality of person
They were looking for
To be their Chief Executive.
So they engaged a firm of headhunters
Called Machete Management.

"What is your person-specification?"
They were asked.

"The person we seek will be
Male, ambitious,
Unafraid of ICT,
A team player,
Good at networking,
Of unimpeachable moral probity,
Of swarthy complexion,
Able to demonstrate
A successful track record
In illicit arms dealing,
And a history of good standing
In the Muslim community."

Machete Management
Conducted an exhaustive search
Of their much-admired
International database.

One week later,
They reported back.
"No such person exists
In the known world," they said.
"But we have found
A alternative candidate
You may be interested in."

"She is a Great White Shark
Of Hindu persuasion,
Brought up in an aquarium
In Northern Ireland,
Who likes pork and apple soup,
Takes bird-watching holidays
In the mountains of Kashmir,
And has never been involved
In any kind of business
Other than prostitution."

"An additional recommendation
Is that she has a profound allergy
To new technology,
And is modest and retiring by nature."

"How soon can she start?"
Machete Management were asked.
"She can start
As soon as she gets back
From Guantanamo Bay,"
They were advised.


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