Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race

The final of this year's
Oxford and Cambridge
Boat Race
Will be between
The Department of Ablutions
And Yellow Plastic Ducks
At the University of Bath,
And the Department of Birds
And Bird-Related Issues
Such as Chicken-Stuffing
At Harvard University.

Professor Richard Charlcombe
Of the University of Bath said:
"It is good to be competing
For The Ashes once more
With our good friends
From Harvard.
This is the twenty-seventh time
In two hundred years
That the universities
Of Bath and Harvard
Have reached the final
Of the Oxford and Cambridge
Boat Race.
If we win the toss
We will elect to row the race
On the River Ganges
At Chester."

Professor Floyd Quincy
Of Harvard University said:
"Bath are always tough opponents.
We have lost our last twenty-six
Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race
Finals against them.
If we win the toss
We will elect to row the race
On the Shatt al Arab waterway
In Mesopotamia."

Our rowing correspondent,
Leander Henley comments:
"This particular
Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race
Is too close to call.
Bath are always at their best
In English conditions,
But in the Middle East,
The Surrey Station
Can be difficult to find.
There is no doubt that,
These days,
Harvard have a lot more boats
Than Bath.
In a tight race
This can sometimes
Be an advantage."


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